Aloysius isn't a terrorist

[Warded Private to Self]
As if my ability to run around the castle in the middle of a group hug affects my ability on the battlefield. What a load of rubbish. I don't care if someone can run well. All that tells me is they can escape the battlefield really quickly and why should I then trust them at my back?

It's the training in the Hall that's going to be the important thing. That's what's going to form the trust that Moody wants. If I can look at the Order and see that they're not the rank amateurs that we've thought they were, that they can fight well, then I'll trust them at my back. If they can look at us and see that we know what we're doing, that we're willing to help them improve their skills and that we're willing to protect them, that's how they'll come to trust us. Not based on our ability to run.

And I don't particularly care what Rufus says. I don't know Moody. I don't know him as anything other than a name. And he's given me no reason to trust or respect him.
[/Ward]

[Warded to Pepper, Kate and Jo]
I'm going for a walk. I'll be somewhere in the castle. I won't be back for dinner. If I don't turn up for Commandant Moody's boot camp in the morning then send out the search parties because I've probably gotten lost.
[/Ward]

[Warded to Broderick]
I wish you hadn't been an arse and stayed at the Ministry even if I think I've figured out why you did it. They're all insane here and they apparently have this weird obsession with running as a group hug activity. I don't understand it and I miss having you around to mock the stupid with.

I'm not sorry I took all the Time Turners. I wasn't going to let the Death Eaters get their hands on them. I do kind of wish I hadn't at times though because they're temptation in a trunk to be perfectly honest.

I miss the DoM. I miss the stupid dorky humour and the nerdy discussions. I miss doing my research. I even miss your stupid, ugly face. Moron.
[/Ward]

[Warded to Albion]
Did we get everyone out?

And how badly off are they? I've still got all the books I used with Jo if anyone thinks they'll be useful.
[/Ward]

[Warded to Pepper, Jo & Kate]
Also? Ow.

Pepper, do you have any bruise salve? I have enough pain potions but I seem to have used up all of the bruise salve I bought.
[/Ward]

[Warded Private to Self]
To think I once wondered whether I was becoming a monster. I think I can feel very, very certain within myself that I'm not even close. I regret what I did to Lavinia Travers. I have nightmares about it still. I feel guilt. I have a conscience that pokes me uncomfortably more often that I like. Jo was right. I am in no danger of becoming a monster.

They are the monsters. I've said it before but never before have I had such proof. That she would try and justify Neville Longbottom's death by saying "Oh, but the Greengrass baby nearly died the other night" disgusts me. There is no justification for Neville's death just as there would be no justification for the Greengrass baby's death. The difference there? The Greengrass family had time and opportunity to escape. The Longbottoms didn't. Then she tries to suggest Neville didn't even exist. She is the most vile and disgusting woman I have ever had the misfortune to speak with.

We are going to defeat them. I don't know how but by Merlin, we are going to defeat them. Even if I have to invent some machine or weapon that can kill them all. I'll do it. I'm fucking smart. I can do it.
[/Ward]

[Warded Private to Self - Added Much Later]
Huh. Look at that. I forgot my own damn birthday. There's a time I'd have laughed myself silly over that then gone and teased my parents. But now my parents are in hiding in Europe somewhere and I'm having trouble finding a reason why my birthday is a reason for celebration.

I'm thirty-six. Will I live to see thirty-seven? Who knows?
[/Ward]

[Warded to Pepper, Jo & Kate]
Apparently I'm thirty-six and have been for a whole day now.

There you go.
[/Ward]

( [Warded Private to Self] )



Atalanta says hello.

( [Warded Private to Self] )

[Warded to Frank & Alice]
You know that Rufus has set me the task of liaising with this Resistance Radio program and helping out any way we can. I suspect this Order of yours knows who's involved. Are you willing to help? I don't necessarily need names; just some way for us to communicate so if we have anything for them, we can get it to them or if they have anything we could use, they can get it to us.
[/Ward]

[Warded to Albion]
Give me your rumour ideas. I don't care how ridiculous you might think they are, throw them out anyway. They can always be reworked into something usable. But if they're sly, sneaky and despicable, all the better. They also don't need to be true, just something that these people are likely to do.

Also anyone skilled at making posters, leaflets and things like that. We can't rely on the radio program to get this sort of thing out because we don't want to undermine them if anything is proven wrong. Also if you know someone out there who is a good gossip and is willing to natter on and spread these rumours in that way, let me know as well.
[/Ward]


When in disgrace with fortune and men's eyes
I all alone beweep my outcast state,
And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries,
And look upon myself, and curse my fate,
Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,
Featured like him, like him with friends possessed,
Desiring this man's art, and that man's scope,
With what I most enjoy contented least;
Yet in these thoughts my self almost despising,
Haply I think on thee, and then my state,
Like to the lark at break of day arising
From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven's gate;
For thy sweet love remembered such wealth brings
That then I scorn to change my state with kings.
                                     ~William Shakespeare

( [Warded Private to Self] )

I met a traveler from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read,
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them, and the heart that fed,
And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings:
Look upon my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.
                                   ~Percy Shelley

Have you ever felt like you're being watched? At first I thought it was just my cat because cats do like to stare until they give you the heebie jeebies but it's not that. It's a strange feeling. I'm half convinced I'm just imagining it. After all, I can't think of any reason why someone would be watching me.


[Warded to Pepper, Rufus, Jo and Kate]
No, I'm not really being watched. I'm just muddying the waters to deflect Travers' attention from me.
[/Ward]

[Warded to Pepper, Elle & Marlene]
I've got Jo. She's where I'm staying. She seems to be pretty much unharmed but I don't yet know quite where she stands mentally so I'm going to keep her here until I can be sure.

Pepper, you're already keyed into the wards. Elle, Marlene, if you want to see her, let me know so we can work out a place to meet and I can bring you here and key you in.
[/Ward]

[Warded to Rufus]
I have Jo.
[/Ward]

[Warded Private to Self]
Am I becoming a monster?

I asked myself that question when I first started building those weapons for Rufus but I dismissed it then. It's war. Weapons are needed. It's unpleasant but necessary. But this? What I did to that poor girl? When did that become necessary? When did I become the kind of man who could do that? Was it always there, buried deep in my mind? I'm not sure I like the man I'm becoming.

But what can I do? I will not let Jo be lost to the Death Eaters, especially not a misogynist like Travers. I feel sorry for Lavinia, stuck with a man like that. She seems so dependent on him and so afraid of other men, though that could just be the situation. Either way, I'm sure that's not healthy.

Merlin, please let him do what he's told from now on. I don't want to have to do anything like that again. And whether I do or not is entirely dependent on him.
[/Ward]

[Warded Private to Self - Added Later]
He knows who I am. Travers, that is. How did he work it out? It can't have been from Kate. She wants to see this succeed as much as I do and I trust her. Maybe Quentin finally recognised me? It possible. It's also possible Lavinia gave a description of me that someone else in the DoM recognised. Broderick would certainly recognise a description of me and so would anyone else in the Time Room. And since they stayed, I certainly can't expect any loyalty from them.

Nevermind. I think I put my solution for this in those damn letters. All I have to do is follow it up in the journals over the next week or two. I don't know whether he'll believe it but it'll certainly muddy the waters.
[/Ward]

[Warded to Kate]
Tonight.

We've got everything ready and we know where we're going and what we're doing so I can't see any reason to wait anymore.

Meet you on the top of the bluff at 7pm.
[/Ward]

[Warded Private to Self]
Bastards! How dare they? How dare they mess around with my mind. "It's only a small piece of information, Aloysius." Yes but how much else did they destroy or warp or remove while they were there. They are not Obliviators. They are the people who stand back and let the Obliviators do their job. There is a reason for that. They are NOT trained to obliviate a dog, let alone a human being, let alone ME! They are nothing more than brain butchers.

And to obliviate Pepper while he's feverish and incoherent? What sort of monsters do that? What damage have they done to him, with his mind in such a fractured state.

I can't stay here. I can't. I don't know what they did. I can't trust them. What else did they take? What did they damage? Did they put something in there as well? I don't know and I can't trust them. Someone I could have trusted would never have accepted such an assignment unless they were an Obliviator or a trained Healer. The fact that they did makes them nothing more than power hungry egomaniacs in my mind. Only a power hungry egomaniac would think that they are the be all and end all of magic users and that they can do anything. No one can. I would think Dumbledore's death would have been warning enough of that.
[/Ward]

[Warded to Rufus]
Now that we are out of Hogwarts, I think it's important that I put more work into the weapons and werewolf protection I have been working on. I'll be in and out until Pepper is well again but then I think I'll probably be spending most of my time at my place. There's not much the people here can do for me except potentially damage my mind apparently.
[/Ward]

[Warded to Kate]
We need to get you keyed into the wards at my place. Which is probably going to be a good thing since I can't see myself spending much, if any, time at camp once Pepper is back on his feet.
[/Ward]

[Warded Private to Pepper]
You any more coherent today?
[/Ward]

[Warded Private to Self]
This plan to kidnap Travers' sister is looking more and more solid. Though one particular wrinkle has come to light. What to do with the girl. Obviously bringing her to the camp is entirely out of the question. It would be too easy for Rufus to find out and if that happened, well, trouble doesn't begin to describe it. But I'm not comfortable with keeping her in my basement. Too many things there that others should not touch and, well, it's my basement. I'm more than happy to share it with Pepper or Jo but some idiotic pureblood girl? No, thank you.

Still, I think I have found the answer. There is a small cottage about an hour's walk from here. I looked at it as a possible place to stay but it was just a bit too much for what I needed. But with a few wards and a bit of a clean up, it should be sufficient.
[/Ward]

[Warded to Kate]
I've been thinking about where we should keep Lavinia Travers. We can't keep her in camp. Unless, of course, we want Rufus to make us give her back. And there's just no room in my basement.

But I know a place not far from my basement. It a small cottage. It looks like it's been abandoned for years but it's pretty sound and stable. I think between the two of us we can ward it pretty damn well but I was also hoping you'd help me set things up inside. I have no idea what a young woman might need so if I try and do that, well, it'll probably be a disaster.
[/Ward]

Some more words for Jo.

( Cut for length only - no wards )

[Warded Private to Self]
What the hell? What have they done to her? Imperius? Some kind of brainwashing?

A healer? What the fuck kind of healer does that? Not one worthy of being called a healer.

But a healer. She must be in St Mungos. Maybe?
[/Ward]

[Warded to Kate]
St Mungos? Do you think she's in St Mungos?

Do you know anyone who has access to plans of St Mungos?

We can get in there. There aren't the kind of wards that protect their damn houses. Maybe on the odd ward or two but if we plan well, we could be able to get in and out with Jo without too much difficulty.
[/Ward]

[Warded to

( [Warded to Severus Snape] )

[Warded to Rufus]
Do we have anyone who can give us some sort of idea of the layout of St Mungos, specifically the rehabilitation centre?
[/Ward]

[Warded to Pepper]
I'm in camp. I'll be here for a few days. I'm doing some consulting, mostly with Kate.

But I'm also looking for a quiet place to do some reading to find better ways to, as you usually put it, 'blow shit up'. Any suggestions?
[/Ward]